Will you be my Distraction?
by MickeyMac96
Summary: Gaara is brought from the dead and now he can finally live life without Shukaku. He can now sleep too but too bad life is never that simple for the redheaded Kazekage. Can his older brother offer some help?


**Author's Note: Okay so I was bored in class and this randomly popped into my head. No warnings because it is not yaoi just brotherly love and light fluff at the end. In the beginning it is a bit musy. This is supposed to be Gaara trying to figure out what to do after Shukaku is taking from him and he must think and act completely on his own. Read, Enjoy, ****Review**** if not whatever go away. :P**

**Disclaimer: Yeah because I need one on a FANFICTION site. **

Silence…nothing but silence. Oh and emptiness, guess he mustn't forget about that too. How can one live like this? Well then again….the sullen redhead muses to himself: most people probably don't live like this. The skin on his forehead, where eyebrows should be, almost knit together on his otherwise expressionless face as his thoughts consume him. He hates this. This constant thinking—no not thinking, he actually prides himself in being quiet intelligent. It's the deep contemplating, the personal thoughts, and worst of all-divulging into his subconscious. It's almost agonizing.

It has been two weeks since the young Kazekage had been captured by the Akatsuki and actually killed. If it was not for the Uzumaki and Lady Chiyo, he would be long gone. Naturally most people believe that the pale teen would be relieved and even borderline happy for having the beast Shukaku removed from him but…in all honesty he just feels lost. Especially in moments like these, when his mind just won't quit. Of course now he is able to sleep but he has only done so twice since the incident. Both times he had nightmares, something completely foreign to him, and quite frankly he did not know how to handle it. Now that he can sleep it is as if his body actually needs it but he refuses to relive the countless gruesome memories of him murdering hundreds of innocent civilians through something as tedious as dreams.

When he had Shukaku he didn't dream and he didn't have these haunting thoughts. Shukaku thought for him. When people use to see him sitting motionless and blank throughout the night, in his mind he was always having a conversation with Shukaku. He kept him company and in a sick way helped him by not allowing him to suffer. The beast kept him from feeling any remorse, sympathy, guilt, or compassion for anything he did by keeping him distracted. That's the reason it was so easy to kill and is probably why Shukaku hated Naruto and Lee so much. They were able to distract the aqua-eyed kage far better than the psychotic beast. Now that Gaara thinks about it, which he inevitably has now that his mind is his own, he feels as if his own true psyche was locked away in some crevice of his mind. That is why when people ask him how he can go from blood thirsty killer to proud protector he is at a loss for words…maybe it was always in him? And Naruto simply awakened it?

In any case, this endless thinking is driving him insane—more so than he's ever been with Shukaku. He feels a flood of emotions every time he has a moment to himself: guilt, shame, regret, sadness, horror, sorrow, and the list goes on. Even when he decided to change and become protector of his village, he never really planned to indulge in human emotion so this is really, for a lack of better words, blowing his mind. Late at night, when everything is still he, much to his shame, finds himself wishing for Shukaku's presence. His voice-anything to distract him. But then again, maybe he doesn't deserve such a privilege. Shukaku or not, he did what he did and now he must suffer his consequences. Will he ever be forgiven for his sins? Can being Kazekage really—

"Gaara?"

His glazed eyes seem to snap back into reality at the sound of his name and he almost forgets that he was still sitting in his office. It takes a moment for his eyes to adjust to the dry darkness to find Kankuro standing by the room door. "Hn…" Is all he offers as a response due to his throat being a bit dry from a lack of talking.

"What are you still doing here so late? I thought you finished your work hours ago."

As usual the worry in his voice intrigues him. Ever since the young Kazekage had been brought back from the dead, he has noticed that the puppet master seems to have some newfound big brother-like overprotection over him. He even goes as far as watching the younger sibling train to make sure he doesn't exhaust himself since his chakra is not what it used to be. He wonders idly to himself what he must look like to his older brother right now. Sitting here with the lights off, curtains drawn, and staring blankly and stiffly at the opposing wall. Certainty sounds like reason to be a bit alarmed.

"Gaara?" The elder tries again hesitantly when the former jinchuriki doesn't give a response.

"I…was just thinking…"

"Thinking?" He repeats the word as if it is something foreign and unbelievable.

"Hn."

"Well…you should really get some sleep tonight. You seemed so tired today. Temari almost hit you with a kunai during training today."

"…"

"Come on, I'll escort you to your wing." He murmurs before fully stepping into the room.

"No."

"No?"

"No." He repeats with something that resembles teenage rebellion to Kankuro. He almost laughs at the thought.

"What do you mean?"

"I don't want to sleep."

"Gaara, it is not like before. Now you actually have to."

"No."

"Why don't you want to sleep?" He questions exasperatedly and already tired from pro-longed conversation with the Kazekage.

"I…" Should he tell him? What harm could it bring? "Don't like…to dream."

"Dream? Why? Do you have nightmares or something?" He seems to scoff at the idea.

"…."

"Oh! You do don't you?"

"…" Again the room falls silent as he stares dejectedly at the floor.

"Well Gaara you need to sleep…after all they are just dreams, they aren't rea—"

"They are. They are real. They are memories." Kankuro decides to play the patient card and sure enough the younger opens his mouth to speak again. "They are all about…the things I've done to people. And all the destruction. All the hate. All the blood…and mother."

His voice was so perfectly low and monotone one would think that he had not a care for anything he was talking about but the puppeteer knows better than that. His little brother looks so distraught, well at least he could see it in the pools that are his eyes. Ever since that terrorist freak captured him, Kankuro found a new strong…feeling to protect Gaara. And he knows he is much weaker than him so other than giving his life he bitterly came to the conclusion that he can't do much else for him. He never thought he would be able to protect him emotionally. "Gaara...why don't you come sleep…with me? In my room." He adds after receiving a puzzled look from the other.

What a strange thought. "Why would I do that?" To others this may seem to be a rude and subtle way of rejection but Kankuro knew it was a genuine and innocent question.

"Because…when people have nightmares sometimes it helps for someone to be with them, you know. The body automatically feels at ease when someone they…trust is near them."

"I trust you." He states with a kind of obvious bluntness which sends a type of warm feeling through the puppeteer. Of course he completely ignores it.

"Then, let's go?"

After a moment to think it over, the redhead nods his approval and stands with a grace that the wind could envy. "I'll go to my chambers first to change…then I'll come to your room."

"Right." He bows a bit before disappearing from view, leaving him with his thoughts.

As the young kage makes his way to his room, he is suddenly struck with his thoughts again. Memories of how bad he treated his siblings rear they're ugly head and he actually frowns slightly when he recalls the look of fear and hatred Kankuro and Temari used to give him. Dammit. He was doing so well. No thoughts for a good fifteen minutes. What happened? He allows a natural scowl to grace his features as he washes his face and changes into a baggy long-sleeve black sweater and a Capri-like pair of plain black pants. Minutes later he is tapping his pale knuckles against his brother's door in a light knock.

The door swings open abruptly and he blinks a bit taken aback by what he finds. Kankuro's face is bare of any of its usual purple face paint and his black hat is not on its usual place on top of his head. Not only that but he is almost nude save for a pair of boxers. He forgot how much he looked like their father… "Welcome to my humble abode." He comments before swinging the door all the way open and making a welcoming motion with his arm.

Humble his ass. The room is a normal sized space with four walls and everything but it looks so much smaller. The floor is almost completely covered by clothing and his white walls are barely visible under posters of puppets and blotches of purple face paint. There's nothing but a twin bed against the wall, a small dresser, and a desk accompanied by a chair. The desk is covered with puppet parts, trinkets, and poisons. The only place free from junk is the unmade bed that he is pretty sure the elder cleared off moments earlier.

"Gaara why do you sleep in that? Aren't you hot?"

"I'm anemic." He offers before sauntering into the room with mortified interest. He doesn't know why he snorts at that. "Kankuro…why are all your clothes on the floor?"

"Huh?" He looks around after shutting the door. "Aw don't tell me you're a neat freak. In any case my drawer is too small."

"But you only wear one outfit."

Again he can hear the amusement in his voice. "Nani? Do you think I walk around nude under those black pullover clothes?" His shoulders move up in a shrug and Kankuro just shakes his head before plopping onto his little twin bed. Gaara watches as he shifts around about thirty times before finally finding where the blanket begins and slipping under it. He continues to stand there lifelessly when he pulls back the cover and scoots over to accommodate him. "Well come on, I don't bite."

"You want me to…in the same bed?"

"Well Gaara, it's not as if there's another bed in here."

He hesitates a bit longer before ever so slowly creeping to the edge of the bed. He stares at the spot as though contemplating before sitting down on the creaky bed.

"Gaara I know you are a slow mover but put some pep in your step, will you?" Aqua eyes meet brown as he actually looks at his older brother since stepping into his room. He never knew that Kankuro was actually physically fit. He must have been staring hard because Kankuro's next question is, "What is it?"

"…Nothing."

"It's something."

"No it's nothing." He hears him mumble something under his breathe along the lines of 'so damn difficult'. "I just thought you were fat."

"NANI?" His eyes widen in disbelief as he stares at his more than serious kage.

"…"

"Gaara."

"?"

"I never knew but you're a pretty funny guy." He chuckles to himself as the redhead finally lies down. The younger nearly jumps out of his skin when he feels his back nestle against the puppeteer's toned stomach. He's still not use to touching or being touched and Kankuro seems to pick on this because he throws his arm around him and whispers, "Relax."

He stiffens up even more at the offending arm. "Kankuro, that is not necessary."

"How are you supposed to feel safe?"

"What are you talking about?" His non-existent eyebrows knit together in confusion at his Ludacris statement.

"You are here because of your nightmares right? Nothing will change unless you feel safe and you know…comforted before you fall asleep."

"…"

"So just relax."

After thirty minutes of pure eerie silence the elder can finally feel the stiff lithe body against him relax. Gaara had actually closed his eyes but they suddenly flutter open when a realization comes to him. Earlier his haunting thoughts disappeared for a moment while he was with Kankuro. And now he is also void of his thoughts. Even when he speaks to other people, the thoughts are always present in the back of his mind but that wasn't the case with Kankuro. Is he his new distraction? His heart nearly skips a beat at that notion. Could Kankuro be his new escape? Maybe he doesn't need something as evil as Shukaku to keep from going insane. But then again…how could he ask his older brother for _anything_ after all he has done to him and Temari. No he doesn't deserve to be weighed down by his little brother's burdens.

"Gaara what are you thinking so hard about?"

He glances back in surprise to find serious brown eyes burring into the back of his head. "Hn?"

"You were relaxed and then you got all tense again all of a sudden. What is it?"

It's nothing to concern yourself about."

"What do you mean by that!?"

Why is he raising his voice? "…I don't…need to burden you with my petty problems."

"Gaara if you are having a problem then it is not petty. And you can tell me anything. I don't know if you think of me as one now but no matter what I am your aniki, you can tell me anything."

"…" No one has ever said anything to him like that before. He doesn't know what to say. He feels the puppet master's arm tighten around his shoulders and he glances back again to see what resembles a scowl on his face.

"I was not able to protect you from harm because I was too weak and pathetic but I should at least be able to offer some support. So please…depend on me for something Gaara…"

"…Then…will you be my distraction?" He mumbles barely audible.

"Huh?"

"Lately…I've been plagued with guilt and shame…and my own real thoughts from my subconscious. Shukaku use to keep that all at bay by being my subconscious and doing all that extra thinking. Now that he's gone…I just…I've caught myself wishing that he was back…I…don't want to rely on him anymore, for anything…But when I'm with you I don't have all those depressing thoughts."

"Are you really okay on relying on m-me instead?"

"You're a good guy Kankuro. You are not weak and pathetic; you need more confidence in yourself. You are a person…I can rely on. Even in battle, there is no doubt in my mind that you have my back—"He is cut off suddenly when he's turned around and pressed against his brother. Both his arms are around him now and he feels his head resting on top of his. Is this a hug?

"Rely on me Gaara and I won't let you down. I won't let you down ever again."

"…Thank you." Doesn't return the hug but he allows himself to bury his face into the elder's shoulder.

Farewell Shukaku…

**Author's Note: Well like I said, random thing that was in my head. I'm pretty sure this is just a one-shot. I will consider adding chappies if people like it AND if I get a suggestion. So Review! Anyway Thanks for reading : )**

**Ja Ne **


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